New, Year, New

Feeling a bit like a wounded warrior right about now. In my head I'm ready to start new and put myself out there but everything else about me is screaming no. Starting a few new things, climate control documentary, wine and whiskey festival in CT, back to traveling around the world. 2016, maybe you're going to make me someone I can look at in the mirror and not question.

Catch Me

I don’t have a favorite season. I have a favorite feeling. It’s that windows down, silent back roads with dirty feet and salt water smell in my hair feeling. It’s when I can walk straight outside without pausing to search for a jacket. It is curtains dancing around my room because the cool breeze is pushing against its fabric. It is sunsets after ice cream and grass as my pillow. It’s the sound of lawnmowers, of crashing waves and the rain falling against my window sill. It’s the feeling of happiness when you encounter packets of shade and long walks along a gravel road. I don’t have a favorite season, I have a favorite feeling.

Vampire Life

We were young and drinking on the beach
There was nowhere else to go
And you said you always would be within reach
Oh but how were we to know

That these are the days that bind you together, forever
And these little things define you forever, forever

All this bad blood here, won't you let it lie?
It's been cold for years, won't you let it die?

If we're only ever looking back
We will drive ourselves insane
As the friendship goes resentment grows
We will walk our different ways

But those are the days that bind us together, forever
And those little things define us forever, forever

All this bad blood here, won't you let it lie?
It's been cold for years, won't you let it die?

And I don't wanna hear about the bad blood anymore
I don't wanna hear you talk about it anymore
I don't wanna hear about the bad blood anymore

All this bad blood here, won't you let it lie?
It's been cold for years, won't you let it die?

Don't Buy Me Presents

I just have one request - baby - don't buy me roses, or daisies, or chocolate, take me somewhere new.
I feel free to roam and travel - to explore and adventure. I'd like to do those things with you.
I haven't found the urge to find another 'half' because I've felt pretty whole as a solo traveler for so long. When you travel, you discover more than places, you discover more than the world, you discover yourself.
But if I do have a boyfriend or lover, I'd want him to know the following:
Baby, don't buy me presents, take me somewhere new.
Swim with me in the Great Barrier Reef and help me find Nemo.
Hike with me along Mt. Fuji. Jump out of a plane with me, soaring high above the ground, through the clouds and filled with adrenaline.
Let's enjoy pretending to be pirates on King's Landing - we can reenact our favorite Game of Thrones scenes - Maybe even sit on the Iron Throne.
Hug me among the elephant's in Chiang Mai, and make my heart beat fast and steady while watching the boas in the Amazon.
After the Amazon we can hop over to Argentina swim in Iguazu Falls - splash around singing assorted songs the natives won't understand.
I'd like to experience our own version of a British tea party and rage at Wireless Festival!
Let's sail Whitsunday Islands and run with the bulls in Pampalona.
I want to experience Halong in Vietnam, because quite frankly that's just hilarious. And I want to be Down Under while you're going down under.
With you by my side I want to feel the security to take real life chances, not the ones I've done thus far on my own - I want to feel the rush of life-changing decisions.
Baby, let's do everything we've dreamed of - lets create new dreams.
Apart we are strong, we are travelers, we are wandering souls, but together we can be something more.

Sickly Love

love me with that blacken cocaine heart
dont have time for a playground romance
kiss me, fuck me, pin me down - make it hurt
lets make up our own violent love dance

i want our love to be deadly
i want it to kill us slowly (like cancer)
our bodies are decaying together (they're yearning to be fed)
our flesh will be together until the end of time (you're my sid and i dream to be your nancy)

got that love filled madness
that drug lust madness
without you all i've got is sadness
that heartbreaking sadness
give into my madness
all my love lust madness

kiss me with your bourbon lips
the same ones you tell every lie with
i can't get enough, i cant say no
i try to leave, but my body wont go

i want our lust to be desirable
i want it to take us away (lost in each other)
our bodies can explore the unmentionables (they need to be found)
our flesh will be together until the end of time (you're my sid and i dream to be your nancy)

got that love filled madness
that drug lust madness
without you all i've got is sadness
that heartbreaking sadness
give into my madness
all my love lust madness

Ode To My Former Life:

oh the days we used to party all night
trying to feel something that resembled city life
drinking by the bombfire on a crisp summer night

we were the queens of small town life
walking downtown reaking havoc on the city streets
stealing traffic cones, screamin at the top of our lungs
our parents were concerned we'd all die young

here i stand with my oldest friend
she's got a smile on her face and heels in her hand
the clouds open and rain pours down
while she starts to laugh, i start to dream my good-byes
we scream and shout and plan our big city lives

this is what makes us small town queens
we all look back, kick up our heals and thank the sky
this is what we'd die for, this is our big city dream
this is what makes us small town queens
we don't cry, we don't care (about anything)
we drink our PBR and scream lyrics to our favorite song

and this is where the road to the end begins
we had too much fun, too many scars, we made lots of scenes
we drank, we smoked, we pushed it to the extremes

we turned eighteen and we had arrived
big city life, working and flirting at the local bars
cheerin on my friend as she danced on cars
doing keg stands and getting high at the local dive

becoming professionals at popping locks
swimming quietly at the velvet cloak (no clothes on)
runnin' from the cops dippin and drippin into the jackpot
all the time screaming 'that's all you've got!'

get us now, get us while you can
screamin at cops with beers in our hands

this is what makes us small town queens
we all look back, kick our heals up and thank the sky
this is what we'd die for, this is our big city dream
this is what makes us small town queens
we don't cry, we don't care (about anything)
we drink our PBR and scream lyrics to our favorite song

these are who i called friends
we got into trouble and when stuff got bad
i called mom and dad and they got sad
a college drop out, a ex-beauty queen, small town girl
crying and lying about where i'd been

this is what makes me a small town queen
i look back, kick my heals up and thank the sky
this is what i'd die for, this is my big city dream
this is what makes me a small town queen
i don't cry, i don't care (about anything)
i drink my PBR and scream lyrics to my favorite song

lucky for my parents i haven't died young (yet) --- hahahaha

working on it, ok

pour my whiskey on the rocks
no one likes me when i'm sober